


Touch Therapy

by dracusfyre



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky wants all the things and should get all the things, I Blame Tumblr, M/M, Polyamory Negotiations, Prompt Fill, pure self-indulgence, stuckony - Freeform, where are all the other avengers? no one knows, why do I always want to write rarepairs, winteriron
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-11-15 09:47:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11228439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dracusfyre/pseuds/dracusfyre
Summary: Tony recognizes Bucky is a little touch starved and decides to lend a helping hand.6/19/17: UPDATED! Now with 100% more smut, as per readers' requests.6/28/17: Updated AGAIN because someone said happy polyamorous OT3 and I said yes please.  I guess I really should just make this a chaptered fic but too late now7/22/17: Final update with the happy OT3 I promised.





	1. Chapter 1

The first time Steve tried to talk to him about Bucky, Tony just stared at him over the rim of his coffee cup until he got the picture and walked away.  But later, when Tony was dragging himself up the stairs after forty straight hours in the lab, he saw Bucky curled up on the couch, all but hidden in baggy clothes and staring into the darkness.

“JARVIS, see if he wants to watch something on TV,” Tony mumbled as he fell into bed, fully dressed.

“Yes, sir.  Any suggestions?”

“I don’t know.” What would a traumatized amnesic supersoldier want to watch? Documentaries? Cooking shows? “Put on that show with the rescue dogs and the inmates,” Tony said finally, and passed out without hearing JARVIS answer.

 

Six hours later a breakthrough idea for the lab had him rolling out of bed and heading back down the stairs.  Passing by the living room, he paused when he saw that Bucky was still watching television in almost exactly the same spot.  He came around the couch and saw that it was also the same show.

“Was the dog show your idea?” Bucky rumbled from the hidden depths of his hoodie.

“Do you like it?  Ready for a dog now?” Tony tested the temperature of the pot of coffee in the kitchen and put it in the microwave.

“Sure.”

“Alright, you don’t stab anyone and one of these days I’ll find you the ugliest rescue mutt in New York. Deal?”

Tony felt a smile pulling at his lips when he heard the surprised laugh coming from the direction of the couch.  “Deal.”

***

About a week Tony came into the kitchen to see Bucky sitting at the bar and hunched over something on the counter, dressed in a long-sleeved hoodie, jeans, and his combat boots.  Raising an eyebrow, Tony made sure to clear his throat as he comes around the counter to pour himself a cup of coffee, noticing that Bucky also has one cradled in his hands, both of which are covered by gloves.

“You know it’s like 97 degrees in the city, right? If you’re cold, just tell JARVIS to turn the temperature up.” Tony took a sip as he leaned against the counter.

Bucky shook his head.  “It’s not that.”  Tony waited for him to finish, but Bucky only glanced at him briefly before looking down at his coffee. 

“Ah,” Tony said as he realized. He unconsciously ran a hand over the scarred, sunken space where the arc reactor used to be.  “Can I show you something?” He reached out a hand to Bucky, who looked at it suspiciously before reaching out as well.  “Well, you gotta take the glove off.”

Bucky hesitated but he finally started to pull the glove off finger by finger.  When his hand was bare, Tony cradled it in his own and ran his fingertips lightly over the broad palms, the long fingers and blunt nails.  Bucky had a callous on his trigger finger and in the webbing between his pointer finger and thumb. Turning his own hand over, he spread out his hand and covered it with Bucky’s. After a moment, Bucky ran his fingers over Tony’s hands, feeling every rough callous and the smooth, shiny scars.

Eventually Bucky pulled his hand back and wrapped it around the coffee mug again, but left the glove off.  “What did you want to show me?”

Tony straightened and offered him a small smile.  “Just that you don’t have to hide.”

***

At four AM Tony finally got tired of staring at his ceiling, so he wandered down to the common area to see if anyone else was having trouble sleeping.  He wasn’t really surprised when Bucky was the only other one there, staring out the wall of windows where it was raining buckets against the glass.

“You ok there, R2?”

Bucky gave him a one-armed shrug. Hidden lightning lit up the clouds and Tony could see that Bucky was watching him in the reflection on the glass. “You know I don’t know what that means, right?”

“Yeah. Force of habit.”  Tony joined him at the windows. 

“Why are you awake?”

“I asked first.”

“So?”

“It’s like a rule, you have to –“ Tony saw Bucky’s unimpressed look and gave up. “Fine. Had a bad dream, couldn’t go back to sleep.”

Bucky turned back to the window and made a thoughtful noise.  “I dreamed I was back in cryo.  Woke up shivering.”      

“Huh. And Steve didn't...?"

"He offered to bunk with me, but..." Bucky rolled his shoulders uncomfortably.  "It's hard to be close to him.  Kinda makes my skin crawl."

Tony remembered that feeling well.  Forcing yourself to stay still while fight or flight was buzzing under your skin.  "Can I help? We’ll start small.” Tony waited for Bucky to look at him and give him a small nod before he continued. “Can I touch your shoulder?”  When Bucky nodded again, Tony touched him with his fingertips before slowly sliding his hand to palm the ball of Bucky’s shoulder, squeezing lightly and definitely not noticing the hard muscles there.  “Is this ok?” 

Bucky gave him a suspicious look like he was afraid Tony was teasing him, but Tony made sure to look as sincere as possible. “Yeah,” Bucky grunted. “This is fine.”

The tension in the muscles under Tony’s hand would say otherwise, but he didn’t want to mention that just yet.  “Good.  Do you feel how warm my hand is?”

Bucky’s eyelids drifted lower and he nodded.  He could feel the warmth of Tony’s palm radiating into his shoulder, the touch solid and anchoring.  Something inside him grew still at the sensation, and the quiet was such a relief.

“Can I touch your back?” Tony asked softly.  When Bucky nodded, Tony slid his hand down to Bucky’s shoulder blade and down to the middle of his back. “Still good?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s good.”  Just the simple touch felt better than a pile of blankets or buckets of hot coffee.  At that moment, Bucky felt so grateful for it that his throat got tight. Tony gave him a sideways glance and started talking about something he was working on in the lab until Bucky’s breathing wasn’t so shaky.

***

Bucky heard the shuffling of Tony’s feet and the sound of a jaw-cracking yawn as he approached. “We’ve got to stop meeting like this, my wife is starting to suspect something,” Tony said as he sat down, close enough that Bucky could feel the cushions sag. “Another bad night?”

“Yeah,” Bucky said without opening his eyes. “Steve tried to wake me up from a nightmare and I tried to strangle him before I knew what was happening.” 

“Note to self.  I’ll just throw things until you wake up.”

“Or just let me wake up on my own,” Bucky muttered.  “Steve is still trying to save me, even from myself.”

Tony made a thoughtful noise, and Bucky could feel Tony looking at him. “Can I touch you?” Tony asked finally.

Bucky waited for a beat and then muttered “yeah” as if that wasn’t the sole reason why he was loitering out here in the common area in the middle of the night.  He let out a silent sigh when Tony flattened a palm against the front of Bucky’s shoulder, thumb tracing the line of his collarbone before sliding across to rest on top of Bucky’s sternum. After a moment Bucky let his head fall back against the couch and let out a long, slow breath.  With it, he realized how tense he had been and he felt every muscle relax, unwinding under the uncomplicated and undemanding warmth of Tony’s palm.

Tony couldn’t help but smile when he saw Bucky finally relax, remembering the first time he’d been really able to relax after Afghanistan, that euphoric release of tension you’d been holding so long you forgot what it felt like to be without it.  Bucky shifted on the couch and his knee bumped Tony’s, drawing his gaze downward.  Tony jerked it back up when he realized that Bucky was more than half-hard and had unconsciously spread his knees wider when he shifted.

Fighting back the urge to adjust himself as his own body became more interested in the proceedings, Tony made a sound to get Bucky’s attention.  When Bucky turned his head lazily and cracked his eyelids, Tony patted his chest gently.  “On the bad days remember to start small. And also tell Steve no grabbing or shaking, that’s just asking to get punched in the face.”  He started to pull his hand back but Bucky caught it, suddenly looking uncertain.

“Could you…” Bucky started, but shook his head and released Tony’s hand.  “Never mind.”

“C’mon, you can ask.  What?”

Bucky glanced away for a moment before he could meet Tony’s eyes again. “Could you touch my head?”

“Yeah, sure. Just lean your head back.” Tony determinedly kept his eyes on Bucky’s face as he shifted lower on the couch with a sigh so he could rest his head comfortably on the couch cushions.  “Pepper used to love this,” he said quietly as he started running his fingers through Bucky’s hair.  "Fastest way to help her go to sleep."  When Tony lightly raked his fingernails across Bucky’s scalp, Bucky made a low noise that he tried to cover by clearing his throat self-consciously.  Tony wondered if Bucky knew that his arm was making a deep whirring noise as something in it recalibrated. At the sound, Tony realized that he was starting to relax as well, and he had already forgotten the bad dream that had driven him out of bed.  Mechanical noises were his happy place.

“You know,” he pointed out, tugging lightly on Bucky's hair, “it would be easier to do this if you didn’t wear the hoodies all the time.  In summer, hoodies aren't a fashion choice, they're a defense mechanism."

"I don't like people looking at me," Bucky grunted, sounding like he was halfway asleep himself.

"Believe me, I get it, I'm just saying.”  

Two days later, Tony was headed out the door for a business meeting and saw Bucky eating in the kitchen with Steve, wearing a long sleeved shirt but no hoodie.  Bucky rolled his eyes but Tony saw his lips quirk when Tony gave him a look of exaggerated surprise.

 ***

Not too long after that Tony wandered up from the lab looking for food and saw Bucky was back to lurking on the couch, hands buried in the pocket of the hoodie and eyes far away.

“Uh oh.  What happened, Terminator?”

“Steve tried to give me a hug,” Bucky mumbled, turning to watch Tony cross the room.  “I punched him in the solar plexus.”

“Came in too hot, did he?” Tony said sympathetically.

“No, it’s not his fault.  I’m just…too fucked up, I guess.”  He blew out a long breath and brushed the hair back from his face, eyes bleak.  Tony was happy to see that the gloves were still banished, and instead of his combat boots Bucky was just in socks. Small steps. 

“Don’t say that.  Steve just had the wrong technique.  Get up, come on.” Tony put his coffee down and reached out a hand to help Bucky stand.  He staggered a little when Bucky took it, having forgotten for a moment that the man was like, a quarter metal.  “Hands gotta be open, low, and not too wide,” Tony said, and demonstrated, remembering the time when he had flinched away from an overexcited hug of Pepper’s and made her cry.  “Now you come in, and if it helps, you can keep your hands on my arms or wrists or whatever you need to feel in control.”

After a moment of hesitation, Bucky stepped into the open circle made by Tony’s arms and took a second to decide what to do with his arms, eventually just wrapping them around Tony’s shoulders.  He was being gentle, but Tony could still feel the weight difference in the two arms.

“Alright, I’m going to put my hands on your back now, and…there.  Hugging.” Tony said, patting his back gently.  “Not broken, just require special handling instructions. Are you ok?”

"Well, I am thinking about three different ways to kill you if you try to stab me in the back,” Bucky confessed.  “But other than that, I guess it’s nice. How come this works with you but not Steve?”

Tony shrugged and tried not to imagine what three ways Bucky was thinking of.  “When you are more used to attacks than hugs, a hug can look like an attack.  Besides, I’m not six feet tall and two hundred pounds, so.  Maybe I seem like less of a threat.”

“Yeah, but you aren’t unarmed, are you?”  Was that his imagination or did it seem like Bucky was pulling him closer? Tony didn’t want to push Bucky away, but if he spent too much longer in close proximity to that chest while feeling the movement of the muscles of Bucky’s back under his hands, the tone of this hug was going to change really quickly.

“The watch can turn into a gauntlet. Semper paratus and all that.” Tony started pulling back gently and after a moment Bucky released him, stepping back but bringing his hands up to rest on Tony’s shoulders.

“Why are you…” Bucky stared at a spot over Tony’s shoulder and blew out a breath. “Being so nice to me?”

Tony stiffened and had to fight the urge to withdraw.  “I, um, I don’t wanna talk about it right now.”

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-“ Bucky dropped his hands and started to step away, but Tony grabbed for his arm.

“No, it’s ok, I’ll tell you, just…not now.”  It was a long moment, but Bucky nodded in understanding and sat back down on the couch.  Tony grabbed his coffee and sat down on the other side of the couch, clearing his throat and trying to offer an olive branch.  “You know, it’s not like I don’t know anything about torture and nonconsensual body modifications.  When I got back from Afghanistan, it took me a long time to, you know…” Tony trailed off and waved a hand in the air between them. “Want to be close to anyone.  So.  I kinda know how you feel.”  Tony sighed and admitted, “Pepper made me see a specialist while we were dating.”

“So that’s where you’re getting all this stuff from? A specialist?”

“Yeah.  Touch therapy.”   There was silence for a while as Tony drank his coffee and tried to ignore the considering look in Bucky’s eyes.  “Asking for help is something I’m still working on, but I do know how to offer it.”

***

“No socks today? Scandalous,” Tony said with a smile, throwing himself down onto the couch.

Bucky grinned a little and dug his toes into the carpet.  “Yeah, the carpet feels nice.” Then Tony saw Bucky glance at his feet and then at Tony’s hands, and Tony headed off the question at the pass.

“Sorry, I don’t touch feet.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know, it just weirds me out.”  Bucky stared at his feet as if he could figure out just by looking why someone wouldn’t want to touch them.  Tony rolled his eyes.  “It’s not rational, Bucky.  It’s just one of those things.  If you want a foot massage, I know a guy who does great ones.” Bucky looked a bit queasy at the thought of a stranger touching him and shook his head. “Maybe one day,” Tony offered.

“Yeah, one day.”  But he was still hunched over his lap, looking at his feet.  “Can I touch _your_ feet?” He asked after a moment.

“Sure, _that_  I don’t mind.” Tony toed off his socks while Bucky scooted back and he put his feet in Bucky’s lap.  Then he saw Bucky carefully pulling the glove off his left hand and he tried to act casual; it was the first time he’d seen Bucky’s hand uncovered since…well, since Tony had tried to kill him, and Bucky had to go shopping for a new one in Wakanda. So it kind of felt like a big deal. 

Tony started looking for the remote so that he wouldn’t stare, until Bucky pressed his thumb into the arch of Tony’s foot and Tony fell back against the arm of the couch with a moan. “No, don’t stop,” he said hurriedly when Bucky let go of his foot like it was on fire.  “It felt good.”

Bucky snorted but put his hands back on Tony’s foot, metal fingers unerringly finding all the knots in the muscles and tendons there.  Tony knew that he was probably making all sorts of obscene noises but he couldn’t help it, Bucky’s hands felt too good.  “You know, people are going to get the wrong idea about what we’re doing in here,” Bucky said, amused.

“I don’t care.” Tony shifted a little when Bucky moved his hands to Tony’s other foot.  “Even if this is all you do for the rest of your life, you can stay here forever.”

“Good to know there’s a way I can earn my keep without having to kill people.” Tony’s eyes flew open in alarm but Bucky just winked at him, so Tony scowled and kicked him a little before closing his eyes again.

“You know, they used to call me the Merchant of Death,” Tony said suddenly, eyes still closed. Bucky hesitated for a second and then continued massaging his feet, for which Tony could only be grateful.  He really was quite good at it, if only because the metal hand never got tired. “Because the Starks made their fortune in the weapons industry.”

“Yeah, I know,” Bucky said carefully, pressing his knuckles into the arch of Tony’s foot.

“Right, I forgot you knew my dad before…well, anyway.” Tony blew out a breath.  “Man, this is hard. Ok, so when I was kidnapped and…and tortured, they wanted me to make weapons for them.  Only, I looked around their camp and they had piles and piles of missiles and shit with Stark written all over them.  I was like, what the hell, apparently I’m _already_ making weapons for you.”  Tony pinched the bridge of his nose and blinked rapidly at the ceiling.  “That’s when I realized that if my weapons are killing innocent people, then I’m killing innocent people, you know? I’m helping kill more of them faster than these assholes would be able to do on their own.  So I stopped.  But that’s not enough, right?  You gotta make it right somehow…” Tony trailed off, trying to remember where he was going with this.

At that, Bucky’s hands did stop.  “I’m not some project to you, right? A way to atone by saving the poor abused POW?”

Tony sat up and pulled his feet from Bucky’s lap. “No! No, that’s not what I meant, of course not.” He buried his head in his hands.  “Fuck, I’m so bad at this.  You asked why I’m being nice _to you_ , and I know you meant because of my parents.  And, obviously, I _wasn’t_ nice, for a long time, but.” He blew out a long breath and forced himself to look at Bucky, who was watching him patiently. “Look, just because you did bad things, not by _accident,_ but you know-“

“Without agency,” Bucky supplied, sounding like he was quoting someone.

“Yeah, sure. That doesn’t make you a bad person. You shouldn’t have to feel guilty all the time, or be punished.  If I can forgive you, then maybe…” Tony looked down at his hands, picking at some grease under his thumbnail.

“Then maybe you can forgive yourself?”

“Yeah,” Tony said, voice so quiet it was almost inaudible. "That."

***

“Bucky? Is that you?” Tony said, squinting exaggeratedly in the bright sunlight of the morning, shading his eyes as he made straight for the coffee pot.  “I don’t recognize you in the daytime.  Should you be out of your coffin this time of day?”

 “Look who’s talking, Mr. Mad Scientist over here,” Bucky said, grinning.  In the light of the morning he seemed much more at ease than he ever did at night, his rare good humor infectious. “I feel like it’s only a coincidence that you and the sun are up at the same time.”

“Pretty much,” Tony admitted.   He tried not to let his eyes linger on the width of Bucky’s shoulders in that long sleeved Henley as he poured himself some cereal.  “I have some work at Stark Industries today so I had to set an alarm.  But don’t worry, I’ll be back to regularly scheduled insomnia tonight.”

“Yeah? Alright then, it’s a date.” Bucky drained his cup and winked as he slid off the kitchen bar stool.

 “Yeah, sure,” Tony said in distraction, watching Bucky’s ass in those jeans as he walked away. “Wait, what?” 

 

By that evening Tony had already forgotten what had happened at breakfast, streaked with grease to the wrist from souping up one of his motorcycles.  He was so distracted trying to loosen a tight bolt that when JARVIS announced someone was at the door he just grunted a “yeah, whatever.” 

So when Bucky walked in, looking around curiously, he was treated to a cheer as Tony finally got the bolt to move.  “It’s good to see you too,” Bucky said as he found Tony on the far side of the sleek black bike.

“Oh, hey Bucky. Hold on.” Tony rolled across the lab on his wheeled stool to grab a clean shop cloth from a pile next to his desk. “What’s up?”  He brushed a bead of sweat off his temple and left a streak of grease.  Bucky smiled and let his eyes travel down Tony’s body, the fitted black tank top showing off muscled arms and the jean that were sagging around his hips.

“Nothing, really,” Bucky said finally, his smile widening when he saw that the tips of Tony’s ears were turning red and his breath was coming faster.  “Just thinking about what you said about touch therapy.”

“Yeah?” Tony swallowed thickly.  “Like what? Making good progress?”

“I think so.  Can I show you?” Bucky reached out a hand and bit his lip with predatory amusement when Tony stared at it a minute before taking it and letting Bucky pull him to his feet.  He kept his eyes on Tony’s as he slowly backed him against a work table before pinning him there with his hips.  He took Tony’s hand and pressed his lips to the scarred knuckles.

“Bucky, that’s…” Tony trailed off when he saw the heated look in Bucky’s eyes.

“Yeah? You’re not supposed to do that with gents?”  Bucky turned Tony’s hand over and kissed the palm.  “Probably not supposed to do that, either, I suppose.  You’ll have to be patient with me, I’ve only ever tried to seduce dames before.”

Tony meant to say something about…something, but Bucky had caused a short in his brain when he said _seduce_ in that deep, rough tone and had pressed another kiss to the inside of his wrist, tongue darting out lightly. “Yeah?” Tony managed eventually, staring as Bucky traced his lips up the thin skin on the inside of his arms, causing an unexpected shiver. “Is that what you’re doing?”

Bucky’s grin at that was sharp, crooked, and dangerous.  He captured Tony’s jaw with his left hand, the metal cool on Tony’s skin.  “Yeah, that’s what I’m doing.  Guess I gotta try a little harder.” He tilted his head and brushed his lips against Tony’s, lightly, teasingly, until Tony made a noise deep in his throat. “Can I kiss you?” he growled against Tony’s mouth.

“God, yes.” Bucky pulled Tony in closer by sliding his hand over the nape of Tony’s neck, settling his mouth over Tony’s and licking in deep.

Tony finally got the message and carefully slid his hands under Bucky’s shirt, mapping out the miles of skin and muscle there.  “Not that I, uh, mind, but what…”

Bucky hmmed while dropping kisses along Tony’s cheekbone, one hand starting to tug on the button and zipper of Tony’s ragged shop jeans. Tony swallowed audibly as Bucky’s fingers brushed over his clothed erection. Bucky’s arm whirred and whined as it recalibrated, plates shifting along his bicep, and Tony realized was never going to be able to work effectively near DUM-E again. “You know, I can hear the way your heart beats faster when you see me.  At first I thought you were afraid of me, but then came all the touching…” The sound of the zipper seemed really loud in the otherwise quiet of the lab.  “The excuses to get me to take my clothes off…”  Bucky’s voice was whiskey-rough and hitting all of Tony’s sweet spots.  “Can I touch you?”

“Fuck yes.  Please put your hands on me.” Tony didn’t realize that he was holding his breath until it came out of him in one shuddering sigh when Bucky shoved his jeans down his hips. “You know this isn’t why-“

“Shhh,” Bucky said against his temple and lifted him up to sit on the table.  He slid his hand down to frame Tony’s jaw, resting the metal thumb on Tony’s lower lip.  “I know.  Stop thinking so hard about this and just use that mouth to tell me how I’m doing, hmm?”

“Yep, I can definitely do that.” Tony’s voice sounded a little shrill as Bucky started exploring his cock with gentle fingers, so he cleared his throat and tried again. “You’re doing great, just…yeah.”  His hips bucked and he gave a startled groan when Bucky squeezed his cock and ran a thumb over the head.

“You know, those noises you were making when I was touching your feet reminded me how much I like making people feel good.” Bucky was looking down at where he was slowly driving Tony crazy, but his other thumb was still stroking Tony’s lip idly, as if the metal could feel the softness there.  Tony gave in to temptation and flicked his tongue out to taste it.

That made Bucky’s eyes fly up to meet his in surprise. “Yeah?” he said, and Tony shuddered because somehow his voice had gotten even deeper. 

“Oh, yeah.  You never noticed?”

At that Bucky’s eyes got heavy-lidded and his grin filthy. “I do now.” He slid his thumb deeper in Tony’s mouth and Tony closed his lips around it, sucking lightly, moaning around it as Bucky finally got around to stroking him with intent. It tasted like licking a battery and just like that Tony probably invented a whole new kink.

“Can you feel that?” Tony said hoarsely, trying not to squirm. He was so turned on that a few quick strokes could have finished him, but Bucky was still being maddeningly slow and gentle.

“Not really,” Bucky admitted.  “But it looks really fucking hot.” He tore his gaze away from Tony’s mouth and met Tony’s eyes, pupils blown.  He stepped in closer, close enough that Tony could feel his hard length against his thigh.  “I bet you have a really talented tongue, don’t you, Tony? Can we make that a part of this touch therapy thing we’ve got going?”

“Well, that’s a little more advanced than-hnnnng.”  Tony’s brain flat-lined again when Bucky bit into the muscle between neck and shoulder. The metal arm was still making mechanical noises in his ear and Bucky was still stroking him just a little too slowly and he was grinding his cock against Tony’s thigh like he could get off just like this and suddenly Tony couldn’t take it anymore. He buried one hand in Bucky’s thick hair and wrapped the other one around the hand on his cock, squeezing tighter and stroking faster and then he was coming all over their hands with a long drawn out “ _fuuuuuuuuck_.”

He let his head drop on Bucky’s shoulder, still breathing heavily. “You,” he said, and forgot what he was going to say when he realized Bucky was still hard inside his jeans and was moving against Tony like he was so close to orgasm he could taste it.  He lifted his head.  “You’re going to need to slow down if you want to learn about my talented tongue.”

At that Bucky froze, making Tony smile as he tried to reach for the box of disposable shop cloths without falling off the table.  “Yeah, ok. Sure,” he said, cleaning his hands with jerky motions, not taking his eyes off Tony’s mouth as if he could already feel his lips around his dick.

 

Tony didn’t make Bucky scream his name when he came, but Bucky’s metal hand did rip a hole in the arm of the couch, so he counted that a victory.  He left Bucky sprawled on the couch, one arm thrown over his eyes, as he stood to grab a couple of bottles of water from the minifridge.

“So is that your first blowjob in like, seventy years?” Tony said with a smirk when he sat back down on the shop couch.

“Tony, that is literally the only blowjob I ever remember getting.” Smiling, Bucky took a drink of water, looking relaxed enough to fall asleep.

“So by default, the best. Nice.”

“Well, how would I really know without more to compare it to?”

Tony started coughing as the water went down the wrong pipe.  “Smooth,” he said hoarsely when he could breathe again.  “I see what you did there. So you and Steve haven't…” Tony stopped when Bucky started shaking his head.

“Steve and I are…complicated.  Don’t get me wrong, I do love the big lunkhead but there’s just so much…”

“Baggage?”

“Yeah.  He wants _so hard_ to help but he just doesn’t know how, and I don’t know how to tell him, so we just get so tangled up and then we both start feeling guilty until we can barely look at each other.”

Tony nodded and tossed his empty bottle in the recycling bin.  “When people love, they give a part of themselves, but eventually they also want a part of you in return.  And I’m not saying that’s not fair, of course it should go both ways, but…” Tony trailed off, lost in thought and absently picking at a small tear in the couch upholstery.  “It can be hard.  To give a part of yourself to someone, even if you love them.”

“Exactly.” Bucky sighed.  “Can you touch my head again? For a bit? Then I’ll get out of your hair and, I dunno, maybe try to have a talk with Steve. Again.”

“Sure.” Tony scooted down to the end of the couch and patted his thighs. “Lay down.”

Bucky didn’t hesitate, putting his head in Tony’s lap and throwing his legs over the arm of the couch with a contented sigh.  He laced his fingers across his chest and closed his eyes, overall looking pretty damn satisfied with himself.

“Feeling good?”

“Oh, yeah.”

Now that the sexytimes were over, Tony’s mind was racing with everything else he’d planned to do to the bike before Bucky had completely derailed his train of thought, but Bucky seemed too relaxed to make him get up just yet.  So Tony just leaned his head against the back of the couch and finished taking apart the motor in his head.

 ***

Bucky must have had that talk with Steve because when Tony went to the kitchen in the morning in search of coffee and breakfast, he was already there waiting at the table, eyes red-rimmed and tired looking.

“Oh, hey,” Tony said in surprise.  “I thought you were going to be out at HQ today.”

“I wanted to talk to you. Bucky told me that you guys hang out at all hours of the night, so I thought…” Steve shrugged.

“Sorry.  It’s kind of hit or miss.” Especially when I haven’t asked JARVIS to tell me whenever you’re prowling around the common areas, Tony thought, pouring himself a bowl of cereal in case he needed to make a quick escape. “What’s up?”

“Bucky told me that you’ve been helping him with, you know…”

“That knee-jerk reaction to punch first and ask questions later?” Tony finished, measuring out coffee into the machine and grabbing glances at Steve from the corner of his eye.  Steve didn’t look mad that Tony had been making time with Bucky – if Bucky had even told him that much.  He just seemed…tired.  But like, existentially tired.  Tony could definitely sympathize.

“Yeah, that.”

“Ok. What about it?”  Tony finally leaned against the counter to face Steve while the coffee maker burbled behind him.

“I just wanted to say thank you.  Bucky says he’s feeling better and I don’t think he’s having as many bad dreams, so…anyway.  Thank you.”

“Well, I know a bit about what he’s going through, so…I mean, it’s not a big deal,” Tony said around a bite of cereal.  He eyed the level in the coffee pot but there wasn’t even enough for a cup yet, so he had to stay and be emoted at for a bit longer.  He glanced at Steve and saw the miserable look before Steve could cover it up. Sighing, he put his bowl down.  “Look, it’s going to be tough, trying to be with someone that’s dealing with heavy shit, ok? Bucky’s going to hurt you –“

“Bucky would never –“

“Sorry, Steve, but that’s a bunch of horse shit,” Tony said, talking over him.  “He’s already hurting you, and you have to admit it, even to yourself, ok? He can see it and when you try to pretend its ok, then he just feels worse. Look,” Tony leaned over the counter, trying to get Steve to raise his head from where he was examining the marble countertop with determination. “Look at me, Steve.  I can help Bucky, but you also need someone to talk to, ok?  Try giving Pepper a call.  She’ll have some good advice for you.  Bucky loves you, and I know you love him, but I think he needs a friend right now more than anything else.” At that, Tony turned away and poured himself a cup of coffee, so he missed the raised eyebrow and quirked lips that would have been a warning.

“I thought they were calling it a ‘friends with benefits’ these days,” Steve said, and Tony almost dropped his bowl of cereal.

Swearing, he put his bowl down and grabbed a towel to clean the milk off the floor. “Are you mad?” Tony said after a moment.    

Steve took so long to answer that Tony had the impulse to ask again, even though he knew Steve heard him.  With his supersoldier hearing, he probably would have heard him if he’d asked while he was in the lab.  Steve stared at the countertop, drawing patterns idly with his fingers as he thought.  “No,” he said finally. “Not mad. Disappointed.  I’m glad he has found something that makes him happy, I just…wish it was me.”

Tony stared at him while he ate some of his cereal, until Steve started to look puzzled at his silence. Finally Tony shook his head and refilled his cereal bowl.  “Nope, I can’t unpack that kind of ridiculousness right now.  Go read some _Chicken Soup for the Supersoldier Soul_ and I’ll Dr. Phil you later.”

 

Despite the  “if you love something, let it go” martyr moment Steve had clearly been having in his kitchen, Tony was not surprised at all to see them hanging out on the balcony later on that day, giggling so madly about something that Steve was holding on to the railing so he didn’t fall down.  Bucky was trying his hardest to look angry but was failing, forced to look away so Steve wouldn't see him smile.  Tony watched them for a moment, happy for them, before he went to get ready for a Stark Industries R&D press conference.

 ***

“Tony?”

Tony held a hand up so that Bucky could see him on the other side of the piece of machinery he was working on. “Over here.”

Bucky couldn’t walk noisily if he tried, so he still managed to surprise Tony when he appeared next to him.  “Hey.  Whatcha working on?”  Tony looked up to see Bucky staring at it in interest, eyes running over all the pieces Tony had spread out on the floor next to him.

“When I make significant changes to the suit, I also need to update the machine that makes the new parts and repairs for it.  I’ve been putting it off, but after fighting those spiderbots last week I really need a way to manufacture new parts other than doing it by hand.”  Tony wiped the sweat off his forehead with his forearm. “Want to lend me a hand?”

“Sure. What should I do?”

“Can you pick this whole thing up and hold it for a while? I think I left my jack down in the garage.”

Bucky shrugged and found a good place to grip before picking it up with his left hand, balancing it with his right. “Ok, I’m good. Go.”

Tony made a mental note to update his stats on Bucky’s arm when he had a moment; clearly the Wakandans souped it up more than they let on. Grabbing the parts he needed, he slid underneath to start changing them out.  “So how are you and Steve doing?”

“Things are going well,” Bucky said. “Last night we hung out and watched movies all night.  Steve even put his arm around me.”

“Aww. Netflix and chill?”  Tony said with a grin that Bucky couldn’t see.

“Yeah.”

Surprised, Tony poked his head out from under the machine to see Bucky’s face, but from the look there Bucky had no idea what Netflix and chill meant.  “I’m happy for you.  No more punching?”

“Nah, I think Steve’s finally getting the picture.  Well, he did get punched when he put a cold can of pop against my back, but –“

“Anyone would have punched him for that,” Tony finished.  He fished around for the wrench to tighten the bolts down. “So what brings you down here to Dexter’s Laboratory?”

“Nothing in particular. Just hadn’t seen you in a bit.”

Tony’s hands stilled and he slid out from under the machine again to see Bucky smiling down at him. “Really?”

Bucky shrugged as much as he could while holding up hundreds of pounds of machinery. “Yeah.”

“Huh.” Tony wiggled back under the machine to finish up. “It’s good to see you, too, Terminator.”

“One day I’m going to watch that movie and then I’ll finally know why you call me that.”

“It’s a date.”

 

A week later Bucky was tracking Tony down in his lab again, this time with a mission. JARVIS helpfully opened the door to the lab for him, and Bucky was surprised by the wall of sound that hit him as the door opened.  Wincing, he found Tony in the center of a glowing blue hologram, schematics of…Bucky stared at it for a moment, trying to figure out how all the pieces fit together, but after a moment he gave up.  The music was making it too hard to concentrate.  He walked into Tony’s line of sight and waved a hand at his ears to get him to turn down the music.

“Hey Bucky. What’s up?” Tony didn’t hesitate in what he was doing, moving the diagrams around with a wave of his hand, enlarging some and sending others into oblivion.  Bucky looked at the dark shadows under Tony’s eyes and the number of dirty coffee mugs and empty alcohol bottles around his work space and sighed. 

“When was the last time you slept, Tony?”

“I’m sorry, am I past my bedtime, Mom?” Tony’s movements got jerky and finally he just dismissed the entire display with an irritated gesture.  He avoided Bucky’s eyes, searching the table for a bottle with something in it and came up empty.

“JARVIS, when was the last time Tony slept?” Bucky folded his arms and narrowed his eyes at Tony, who was throwing the empty bottles into the recycling with undue violence.

“Going on seventy-two hours.” JARVIS responded, sounding as disapproving as the AI could.  Tony scowled at the ceiling and muttered “traitor.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Tony shrugged him off and dumped all of the coffee cups into a sink in the corner of the lab. “I’m working and I got caught up.”

“For three days? Bullshit,” Bucky said. Four days ago they had settled in to watch the Terminator movies, which eventually turned into a makeout session and then Tony showed Bucky what Netflix and chill _really_ meant.  Today he’d come down to drag Tony out of the lab to go see a new one that had just hit the movie theaters, but…When Tony paced by him, Bucky put a hand on his arm to make him stop moving for just a minute.  “What happened?”

Tony scrubbed a hand over his face.  Bucky leaned against the work table behind him and tugged him closer, and finally Tony rested his head on Bucky’s shoulder with a tired sigh. Bucky put his arms around him and felt him sag against him, as if now Bucky was the only thing keeping him upright. “Pepper told me she’s dating someone.”

Ah. Bucky stroked a hand down his back in what he hoped was a comforting manner. “And you’re upset?”

“Yes. No.  It’s…” Tony turned his head so that his forehead was resting against Bucky’s neck. His sigh was a warm gust on Bucky’s chest, and he felt Tony’s arms go around him as well. “I don’t deal with change well.”

“Understandable.”  Bucky wracked his brain for something to say. “If it helps, you’re not alone.  You don’t have to deal with this locked up here in your lab all by yourself.”  Tony’s only response to that was a ragged breath. “Come on, let’s get some sleep. You’ll feel better. I would know, I spent the better part of the last seventy years asleep.”

Tony snorted but raised his head.  “On days like this I usually have to drink until I pass out to get any sleep.”

Bucky put a hand on his back and half ushered, half shoved him out the door of the lab, lights going off in their wake.  “Luckily for you, I’ve been learning ways to help people relax.”

Tony rolled his shoulders uncomfortably as they went to Tony’s room.  “I don’t know if I feel like-“

“Get your mind out of the gutter and take a shower,” Bucky said, helping Tony pull off his grimy tank top and sweatpants. “I meant a massage.  You think I haven’t noticed that the first thing to pop up on my laptop whenever I try to use the internet is a YouTube page full of massage tutorials?”

 

Tony woke up ten hours later with a dim memory of Bucky kissing him on the head as he climbed of bed.  He stretched and yawned, feeling sore from sleeping so much and also feeling like he could go back to bed and sleep more, but his bladder and stomach were making demands that could no longer be ignored.   He took care of the former and put on some boxers and a shirt to take care of the latter, scratching the back of his neck and still yawning as he searched blearily for some food.   Leftover Thai food became breakfast and he shuffled into the living room to see Steve there, sneakily reading on the couch.

“Good morning,” Tony said as he fell into an armchair.

“It’s after noon,” Steve said with a smile as he looked up.

“Whatever.”  Tony started eating and cursed himself for not remembering to get coffee, but at the moment that was way too much effort.

“Rough night?”  Tony shrugged, not really interested in talking about it.  “Are you feeling better?”

“Sure,” Tony said, hoping Steve would go back to reading his book, but instead Steve put it down and sat up from where he’d been reclining. Tony sighed inwardly.

“Are we still friends, Tony?”

Now Tony sighed outwardly and put his chopsticks down.  “Really? You gotta hit me with this now? I just woke up.”

“Yeah, I’m saying it now because I feel like you are avoiding me.” 

No one said you had bad instincts, Tony thought sardonically. He crossed his arms over his chest defensively. “Fine.  No, Steve. We’re not really friends.”

Steve nodded like that was the answer he was expecting but afraid of.  He turned his book over and over in his hands, staring down at it like the cover would have answers for whatever questions were going through his head.  “Think that will ever change?”

“I don’t know.  Sometimes when things are broken, they just…stay broken.” Tony picked up his Thai and kept eating, mostly for something to do with his hands.  He really felt the need for one of Bucky’s hoodies right about now.

“What about Bucky?”

“What _about_ Bucky?”

“Well, you and he are, you know…” Steve gestured at the couch like he knew what Tony and Bucky had done on it a few days ago.  “Involved.”

Tony shrugged uncomfortably.  “Yeah, but…I mean, you are his endgame, Steve. He loves you, he told me so.  I’m like…training wheels.  Until he’s ready.”

Steve met Tony’s eyes and the look on his face when from morose to disbelief. “That’s ridiculous.”

“Well, it’s not my best metaphor, I guess, but –“

“No, I mean, you’re not _training wheels_.  He doesn’t think you’re a- a means to an end, and I’m the end.  He really cares about you. He likes spending time with you.”

Tony stared.  “I care about him too, but…He’ll still choose you.”

“Are you going to make him choose?”

“No, of course not,” Tony said with a scowl.  He put the empty to-go box down and buried his head in his hands, scratching his scalp as he tried to figure out what was going on. This conversation really went in a direction he hadn’t been expecting. “I figured we would fool around for a while, and then one day it would be the last time, and then you guys would go off and be happily married centenarians.”

“Well, I’ve been doing a lot of reading, as you suggested,” Steve said, waving his book at Tony.  Tony lifted his head and squinted and saw _The Ethical Slut_ on the cover. “And I don’t think Bucky should have to choose between us if none of us mind.  You’re good for him, I think he could be good for you, and he deserves as many people who care about him as possible.” With a satisfied air, Steve dropped his book on the coffee table in front of Tony and left, leaving Tony stunned.  He fell against the back of the chair, desperately wanting coffee so that maybe he could understand what just happened.

 


	2. Chapter 2

            Bucky was just sitting down to lunch when Tony came running up the stairs, so excited about something he was practically bouncing on his toes.  There was a bag thrown over his shoulder that clanked with something when he sat it down.  Bucky watched him for a moment, chewing on a sandwich as he tried to figure out what the hell was going on.

             “Terminator!  Just the man I was looking for.”  Tony took the sandwich out of Bucky’s hand and whistled. The elevator dinged and as soon as the doors were opened enough a three-legged dog launched itself out at Tony, whining happily as it rubbed itself against his legs. “Bucky, meet your new dog.  I think we should call him James, Jimmy for short.”

            Bucky rolled his eyes but couldn’t get the grin off his face as he held his hands out for the dog to smell, getting enthusiastic licks in return.  He ducked his head to see between the dog’s legs, and straightened, shaking his head. “Tony, this dog is a girl.”

            “I think we should call her Jamie, Jamie for short,” Tony said, without missing a beat, smiling as he patted her on her haunches.

            As Bucky started scratching behind the dog’s ears she sat down, tongue lolling in a wide grin.  Now that she wasn’t squirming madly with excitement, he could see that the dog was missing a front leg and an ear, and her short brindle coat was covered with scars.  From the squared off face she was mostly pit bull, and as Bucky crooned to her she scooted closer and started leaning against Bucky’s leg, eventually trying to crawl into his lap.  “Rescue dog?”

            “Yeah,” Tony said.  “Apparently one of the engineers in R&D fosters rescue dogs until they can find a home.  She showed me a picture of this lady and I knew you two were meant to be.”  Bucky didn’t have to ask what kind of rescue dog she was, the scars said enough.

            “Yeah, real funny, Tony.  You going to make her a metal leg?”

            “Believe me, having only three legs is not slowing her down at all.  She knows some basic commands but let me tell you, she has _no_ leash manners. Much like you.”

            “How would you know?” Bucky leered, the effect slightly watered down by the dog panting with contentment that was spread out across his lap. “You’ve never tried.”

            “Down, boy,” Tony said, but he was smiling back.  He leaned over Jamie, running a hand down her back while he gave Bucky a kiss.  “We’ll be discussing that more later. Seems like more of a Steve thing though, with that whole Captain – Sergeant dynamic.”

            “He does enjoy telling people what to do,” Bucky said noncommittally, but with a suspicious glint in his eyes.  Suddenly Tony had a mental image of Steve telling Bucky, “ _Get on your knees,_ ” while undoing his belt and a wave of heat went down his spine, giving him goosebumps. Imagining the same while they were both in uniform threatened to make his brain melt.

            Tony cleared his throat and tried to push the images away.  “There’s some green space and trees and such on the rooftop patio, if one day you don’t have enough time to give her a proper walk.  Leashes and bowls and stuff are in the bag.”

            Jamie yawned with a loud _arrrouph_ to remind everyone that she was still here.  Bucky’s hand on her head had stilled as he had studied Tony’s rapidly changing expressions with interest, as if he could tell what Tony had been thinking.  “Ok, thanks,” Bucky said with a small smile while Tony retreated to his room.

***

            That Sunday when he was on his way out to have brunch with Pepper, he saw Bucky passed out on the couch, Jamie asleep on top of him with her head resting on his chest.  Steve had slid an armchair to sit across from them with his head bent over a sketchbook.  Tony had the brief impulse to look over his shoulder and see the sketch, but he and Steve hadn’t talked since the ‘sharing Bucky’ conversation and Tony still hadn’t finished wrapping his head around it so he just went down to where Happy was waiting with the car.

            At brunch, Pepper was looking relaxed and happy and she practically glowed when Tony told her so.  “But, it is always easy to be happy in the beginning, before you have that first real fight, you know?”  Yeah, Tony remembered.  “How are you doing?”

            Struck by the question, Tony lowered his fork.  It should have been a simple question but Tony hadn’t even thought about it recently.  “Well,” he said slowly, as realization dawned, “I’m doing pretty well.”

            “You look it.  You don’t have that look that you get when you’ve been spending too much time alone in the lab. Pasty with dark circles,” she said with a smile.  “Bucky seems to be good for you.” 

            Tony sat back in his chair, a little surprised.  “Steve talked to you?”

            “Yeah, he said you suggested it so we had dinner a few days ago.  I gave him what advice I had for trying to date someone with PTSD and anxiety and it seemed to help.”

            “Like what?” Tony said curiously. Most of what he was doing to help Bucky was remembering what Pepper had done for him.

            “I’d rather not say,” Pepper said after a moment of hesitation. “It was a pretty personal conversation.  But I do want to say that he asked about you, too, not just Bucky.”

            “Yeah?” Tony looked back down at his breakfast, white truffle omelet all of a sudden seeming pretty unappetizing.  He reached for his half-finished mimosa and drained it.

            “Yeah.” Pepper reached over and took his hand before he could raise it to order another.  She squeezed it until he met her eyes. “Tony, listen.  I can’t tell you what you should feel or do about Steve.  I know it was a huge step to ask him to come back to the Tower and then let him stay because of Bucky.  But I can tell you that he wants to fix things, and he’s trying really hard to figure out how.  Ok? So maybe think about letting him try, or even meeting him halfway.”

            Tony swallowed thickly.  “Why should I?” he said, voice raw. “Why should I trust him like that again?”

            When Pepper’s face went soft with affectionate understanding, she looked like an angel and Tony remembered why he fell in love with her in the first place.  “Because everyone makes mistakes and deserves a chance to try to make it right.  Steve understands that he handled the whole situation badly, but you weren’t making good decisions either.” She squeezed his hand again, and he lifted it to his mouth to kiss her knuckles. “Just think about it.  At the very least, maybe you can find a way to forgive him because holding on to all that resentment is just hurting yourself.”

            Tony blew out a long breath.  “Ok, I’ll think about it.” She finally let go of his hand and he waved the waiter over, ordering just orange juice and making a face at Pepper when she smiled proudly.  “Must have been a hell of a dinner.  I hope Steve paid.”

            After brunch Tony went back to the lab and pulled Steve’s shield from where it was propping up a leg of a work table, a leg Tony deliberately sawed off just to put the shield there. He propped it against the wall next to his desk, still scratched, scarred and burnt, and studied it thoughtfully.

***

            A few days later Tony was relaxing on the roof of the tower, watching the sun set as he sipped on a doctored smoothie that was making the stress of the day slide away like melting ice, when the glint of sun off metal caught his eye.  He tipped his sunglasses down and watched Bucky approach, wearing only a t-shirt and what was probably a pair of Steve’s cargo shorts.  Jamie was following him, stopping to sniff at seemingly random objects before running to catch up.

            “Hey, hot stuff,” Tony said with a broad wink.  “Come here often?”

            Bucky sprawled in the lounge chair next to him with a loud sigh, making eyebrows of appreciation at the view over Central Park.  “First time, actually.  Anything you’d recommend?”

            “I was talking to Jamie,” Tony said loftily, scratching her under the chin when she came over to say hello before collapsing on the ground between them. “I’d offer you some of mine but since it wouldn’t do anything for you, it seems like it’d be a bit of a waste.”    

            Bucky looked at the green concoction in Tony’s glass and made a face. “That thing looks gross.”

            “Better than those protein shakes I’ve seen you drink,” Tony said, slurping his drink loudly through the straw.

            “That’s not a high bar but there’s honestly only so many meals I can eat in one day before I get tired of food.”  Tony eyed the muscles in Bucky’s arm and thought about the abs under that shirt and heard a tiny violin playing in the distance, remembering the day when he realized that he couldn’t just eat whatever he wanted anymore.  “Anyway, I didn’t come up here to steal some of your alcoholic wheatgrass whatever, I thought we should talk.”

            Now it was Tony’s turn to make a face.  “Let me guess.  Is it about Steve?  Are you the go-between now?”

            “Kinda.  Why are you still mad at him?”

            Tony sighed.  “I’m not mad.  I mean, I get it.  I would have stabbed him in the back if it had meant saving Pepper, so I _understand._   But...” He unconsciously crossed his arms over his chest, scratching at his goatee where it was starting to grow in.  “I don’t know how to ever trust him again, and that’s kind of a big deal.”

            Bucky nodded thoughtfully and pulled his chair closer with a loud scrape of metal against concrete.  He took Tony’s hand with his left one and ran a thumb over Tony’s knuckles. “Steve talked to you about…you know…this arrangement he’s thinking about?”

            Tony barked out a laugh. “Yeah, kinda.  I gotta admit, I was a little floored. He doesn’t seem like the free love kind.”

            Bucky sighed again and scratched the back of his neck with his free hand.  His eyes were focused on where he was holding Tony’s hand and Tony got the impression he was thinking really hard about what he was going to say next.  “I get the impression that a lot of what people think they know about Steve is more what they know about Captain America.  You know, the whole Captain America thing wasn’t an identity Steve made for himself, it’s something other people made for him and he went along because he had convinced himself it was the right thing to do.”

            Tony grunted because he’d honestly never thought about it that way before. “Feels like you’re trying to say that if I just got to know the ‘real Steve’ my feelings would change.”  Tony could _feel_ himself getting stubborn about it and had to consciously force himself to not pull his hand from Bucky’s out of mulish spite.

            “Maybe.  You telling me part of the reason why you forgave me wasn’t my charm and witty personality?”  Bucky looked offended.

            “Ten percent, maybe,” Tony said.  “It was forty percent me being the bigger man and then fifty percent the way you bite your lip when you’re thinking about something.” He reached out and ran a finger over Bucky’s lower lip, which he’d been chewing on for the past five minutes.  “But anyway.  You were going to say something about Steve’s big idea.” Tony took his straw out and finished off the last bits of his smoothie, suppressing a shudder at the taste. To be honest the flavor combo wasn’t his best idea. 

            “Right.” Buck shifted to move a little closer.  Jamie lifted her head for a moment to see if she was going to get scratches, then put it back down, her one ear cocked on their conversation.  “So I’m down because, well, who wouldn’t be? I get to have my cake and eat it, too.  But of course, I worry.  I feel like you’ve been through enough relationship-wise that you know your boundaries and how to enforce them. But Steve…”  Bucky blew out a long breath. Some hair had escaped the bun on the back of his head so he tucked them behind an ear. “He _says_ he’s ok with the idea, but he’s said that before.  Back when I would go out with women.  I don’t know if he’s really ok with you and me or just…I don’t know, settling because he thinks that’s all he can get?”

            “Jesus, that’s heavy,” Tony said.  After a moment, he swung his legs over the side of the lounge chair and stood.  Jamie scrambled to her feet, her entire rear end wagging because her tail was mostly missing, tongue lolling in the heat.  “Let’s go inside.  I feel like this conversation needs some skin to skin contact and it’s way too hot out here for that.”  He pressed a kiss to the downturned corner of Bucky’s mouth and led the procession inside.

            “I think you’re stalling because you don’t know what to say,” Bucky said, vaulting over the stairs to beat Tony to the bottom, opening the door for him and Jamie, who almost knocked Tony over as she trotted to her water bowl, toenails skittering on the hardwood floor.

            “You can’t prove that.”  Tony peeled his tank top off as he crossed the living room, grateful for the cool air on the sweat that had gathered while he was sitting outside.  “I’m going to take a shower, wanna come?”

            “Sure.”  Bucky kicked the door shut to the bedroom to keep Jamie out as he followed Tony to the shower, a sybaritic affair with two shower heads and a long wooden bench like the ones they put in saunas.  Bucky pulled his hair up high on his head and secured it before stepping in next to Tony.

            “I think the issue with what you’re talking about is that you’re going to have to trust Steve to take care of himself.  Emotionally,” Tony clarified when Bucky looked at him skeptically.  “He probably still needs someone to make sure he takes care of himself physically and doesn’t jump out of any more planes without a parachute.”

            “He did _what?_ ” Bucky scowled and Tony knew that he’d be having a Conversation with Steve later. “Trust, huh?”

            “Yeah.  I mean, what are your other options? Making relationship decisions for him? Protecting him from himself?” Now it was Tony’s turn to make a skeptical face as he reached for the soap. “My relationship with Steve may not date back to the prehistoric era like yours, but…”

            “Yeah, yeah, I hear you.” Bucky turned up the heat on his shower head and angled the spray to hit the muscle around his metal shoulder. Tony massaged it a little until Bucky groaned and his shoulders visibly relaxed.  “Guess this has been stressing me out more than I thought,” he mumbled.

            “Other than that, how are things going? You two break any beds yet?”

            “We haven’t gotten that far, but he did give me a blow job. Well, more than one. Lots.”

            “Yeah? So who’s better?”  Tony was asking out of scientific curiosity, that’s all.

            “I couldn’t say.”  At Tony’s disbelieving look, Bucky shrugged and his lips quirked.  “You have very different styles.”

            “Go on.” Tony tipped his head back under the spray and reached for the shampoo.

            Bucky hmmed thoughtfully as he soaped up.  “I think the best way to describe it is that you suck dick like you’re getting paid per orgasm, and Steve sucks dick like he’s getting paid per hour.  Like he’s happy to just stay down there _forever._ ”

            That surprised a laugh out of Tony right as he was putting his face under the water, making him cough and sputter.  Bucky just watched him with a shit-eating grin on his face and backed him up against the wall of the shower.

            “I’m serious, he’ll just stay on his knees, teasing…licking…little bites along the inside of your thighs, hands touching you everywhere he can reach, until you’re begging for him to let you come.”  Bucky’s voice got deeper and rougher as he spoke and his hands were sweeping up and down Tony’s ribs. Tony shuddered and swallowed thickly, his head hitting the tile wall when Bucky ran his metal hand up Tony’s hardening cock. “You shouldn’t take my word for it though. I bet he’d get on his knees for you, too, and you can teach him what you like.”

            “Jesus,” Tony croaked, cock jumping in Bucky’s hand at the mental image.

            “And he still blushes sometimes if you talk dirty, if you tell him how pretty he is with his mouth on your dick.” Tony reached for Bucky to try and wipe that smug look off his face, but Bucky gently batted his hands away.

            “Not right now.  Kneel and put your hands on the wall,” Bucky ordered, and he ran a hand down Tony’s back when he obeyed.  Then his hands were on Tony’s ass cheeks and his metal thumb was running over the hole between them.  Tony closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the cool tile and then jerked when he felt Bucky’s tongue lick a hot stripe from his balls all the way to his tail bone. “Think you can come just from this?”

            “Twenty years ago, maybe.” Tony groaned as Bucky licked again, this time lingering.

            “Steve can,” Bucky said. “My only regret is that I can’t see his face when he comes, but let me tell you, the sounds he makes could tempt a saint.”  Then Bucky found better things to do with his mouth.  Tony was just glad Bucky stopped talking because he could imagine Steve’s face, head thrown back, eyes closed, hands fisted in the sheets; the image was burning in his brain and sending heat rolling down his spine.  Then Tony was imagining sliding in to Steve, all loose and wet from Bucky’s mouth, pinning his shoulders while riding him hard, because if he could come from Bucky’s mouth he could come from Tony’s cock, making panting little _ah, ah_ sounds like it was so good it almost hurt, and Jesus Christ Tony didn’t quite finish just from Bucky’s tongue but it only took one stroke from his hand before he was painting the bench with his come.

            Tony returned the favor by shoving Bucky out of the shower and onto the bed and riding him until he came, neck arched and fingers tight on Tony’s thighs.  Afterwards, Bucky was propped up on an elbow next to Tony and idly tracing over the scars from removing the arc reactor, clearly lost in thought.  Any minute now Tony’s native restlessness was going to start making him twitchy, but for now he was still coasting on happy sex hormones.

            “You know, I noticed you didn’t really offer your opinion on Steve’s big idea,” Bucky said eventually, flattening his palm against Tony’s chest.  Tony covered it with his own hand and sighed.

            “You know, after things finally ended with Pepper, I kinda came to the conclusion that I’m not good at relationships.  Like, if relationships were cars, I’m one of those people that never remember to change the oil or check the fluids.  Eventually the thing just,” Tony waved his hands expressively, “falls apart from chronic neglect.”

            “Can’t be that bad, right? From what I understand Pepper stuck around for a long time.” Bucky lay back on the bed to stare at the ceiling with Tony.  At the door he could hear Jamie pacing back and forth but she was too polite to scratch.

            “Ugh.” Tony sighed again.  “I tried. Really hard.  I would realize that I was fucking up and I would try to fix things, usually by overcompensating.  Forgot a birthday, apologized with a trip to Paris. A few too many nights in the lab, new diamonds. It’s easy to do when you can afford it, you know?”

            Bucky barked out a laugh. “No, not really.”

            Tony elbowed him in the side. “ _Anyway_.   Eventually it gets old.  She got tired of having to remind me that we were in a relationship and I got tired of having to work so goddamned hard to remind her that I cared about her.” 

            “Okay…” 

            Tony sat up and leaned on an arm to look Bucky in the eyes.  “I told Steve when we spoke that I figured you would end up with him eventually.  Mostly because I doubted I could keep up with a relationship with you any more than I could with Pepper.  I mean, I would try, but…Anyway, the point is that maybe this way, if I’m not the only one in the relationship, I’m less likely to fuck it up.”

            Bucky thought about that for a moment. “So, you’re hoping that Steve will pick up the slack if you drop the ball,” he said, amusement clear in his voice.

            Tony shrugged self-consciously. “I guess you could say it that way.  It’s more like, since I don’t think I can make you happy enough all by myself, it’s nice to know there’s someone else around invested in making you happy, too.”

            “Jesus, Tony,” Bucky said with a wide sappy grin and pulled him down for a kiss. “Isn’t that just the sweetest fucking thing,” he murmured against Tony’s mouth, then started pressing hot kisses down the length of Tony’s throat.

            “Don’t expect me to hop into bed with you guys, though,” Tony warned as Bucky pressed him back into the mattress.

            “Not yet, at least,” Bucky said with a wicked grin.  “Don’t think I don’t notice how revved you get when I mention having sex with him.”

***

            Tony was tooling around with the idea of a new paint scheme for the suit when his phone buzzed with a text from Bucky. _Hey I was going to come down to hang out, mind if I bring steve?_ Tony wrinkled his nose at the thought of letting Steve into his lab, his sanctum sanctorum, but he sent back _sure_ without undue hesitation.  When they arrived, Bucky came over and gave him a kiss on the temple but Steve just gave Tony a small smile before taking over a corner of the couch, sketchbook and pencils in hand.  Tony eyed him curiously but then Bucky started asking questions about the mock-ups on his computer screen and eventually Tony forgot Steve was even there.

            A few hours later Bucky wandered off in search of food and Tony realized that Steve must have left at some point without him noticing.  On the couch where he was sitting, however, were two sketches:  One was a quick sketch of Tony explaining something to Bucky while his robots were gathered around like over-excited dogs.  In the corner of the page, a cartoony Steve is sitting in _The Thinker_ pose, chin on his fist, but in a thought bubble over his head were just a bunch of question marks.  The other was more detailed and in it Bucky was smiling at Tony affectionately while Tony was looking at something off the page; this time the cartoon Steve was making heart eyes at them, clutching a sketchpad to his chest.

            Tony cracked a smile despite himself and taped the sketches to the wall next to his desk, above the shield that was still leaning there.

***

             It took two weeks of grumpy self-reflection for Tony to think of what to say to Steve, and then almost another week before an opportunity to say it presented itself.  Tony was headed to his room to start getting ready for an SI departmental meeting when he saw Steve by himself in the living room. Tony almost walked by but then he hesitated and sighed. He forced himself to go into the living room and drop down onto the couch near where Steve was sitting in an armchair, apparently occupied in his book, while Jamie was laying on his feet.

            “Hi.”

            “Hey, Tony.” Steve put his book down.  “What’s up?”

            “I’m sorry for taking out decades of resentment towards my father out on you.” Steve’s eyebrows climbed up his forehead at the apology and he got a thoughtful look on his face.  He took so long to answer that Tony almost got up to leave but then Steve sat up a little straighter.  Jamie huffed at being disturbed.

            “I’m sorry that I believed that the devil-may-care, playboy billionaire persona that you put on for the world was the real you, and for believing that being an Avenger was just a game to you.” Steve set the book aside and leaned forward, rubbing a hand over his face.  “Howard always acted like he was more interested in his inventions than the war, and that never sat right with me.”  Steve looked down at his hands and over his shoulder Tony saw Bucky silently approach from the kitchen, eyebrow raised questioningly.  Tony started to say something but then Steve was talking again.  “Also I thought you were reckless and not much of a team player, but I was wrong.”

            Tony had to put a hand over his mouth to hide his grin at the incredulous look on Bucky’s face when Steve said _reckless_.  When he could make a straight face he said, “Yeah, I made a lot of assumptions about you, and I’m starting to realize that I don’t know Steve Rogers as well as I thought I did.  So we’ll both do better going forward, yeah?”

            “Sounds good, Tony.”  Over Steve’s shoulder Bucky was leaning against a support column and grinning like a loon.

            Tony ducked his head self-consciously at that and the warm smile Steve was giving him and cleared his throat.  “Pepper told me you guys talked, was it helpful?”

            “Yeah, she gave me a lot of good advice.  Be patient.  Don’t take things personally.  Have faith that Bucky cares about me as much as I care about him.” Steve leaned back in his chair and eyed him speculatively.  “She also told me some stuff about you.”

            “Like what? How good I am in bed?”

            “No, Bucky tells me that.”  Tony felt his face get hot and he determinedly did not look in Bucky’s direction.  “Like, for example, that you use humor as a cover when you are feeling emotionally vulnerable.”

            Tony groaned and dropped his head in his hands. “I’m doomed.  Pepper gave you my cheat codes.”

            “Bucky? Do you have anything to add?” Tony looked up to see Steve smirking as Bucky stalked forward and tilted Steve’s head back to give him a kiss. Then he was climbing over the back of the couch to sit next to Tony.

            “He’s better at giving than he is receiving.  It’s how he shows he cares.” Bucky planted a loud smacking kiss on Tony’s cheek.  “But apparently I shouldn’t expect him to remember my birthday.”

            “That’s not so bad. I mean, after a certain point you just run out of room for all the candles,” Steve said philosophically.

***

            The next time they came to visit him in the lab they came bearing coffee and brought Jamie, who did a couple of laps around the lab to investigate everything before settling next to Steve on the couch. Bucky had taken a wheelie chair and was pushing himself around the lab to look at the status of Tony’s various projects, giving Tony a running commentary while he caught up on some emails from Pepper.

            Out of the corner of his eye Tony saw Bucky stop in front of his growing collection of sketches from Steve, smiling and running his finger over the image of Steve with heart eyes.  When he started to move again one of the wheels on the chair made a clang as it hit the shield, half-hidden behind the work table. Jamie and Steve looked up as Bucky pulled the shield out.

            “Oh,” Steve said in surprise. “You-“

            “Yeah.” Tony turned around in his chair as Bucky scooted over to them while holding the shield, still in his wheelie chair. About a week after their conversation about doing better Tony had sat down and spent a few hours buffing out all of the scars and scratches from the shield, taking off the beat-up paint job as well.  Now the shield gleamed its original metallic gray; if you ran your fingers over the surface you could still feel the imperfections, but it looked good as new.

            Bucky laid it down on the work table and tapped it with his metal finger. A clear bell tone echoed in the lab, and Jamie snorted and shook her head at the sound.  “Remember when Peggy shot you?”

            “Shot _at_ me,” Steve corrected as he stood to look at it as well, running a hand over the textured surface.

            “Yeah, she was pissed.  Because that dame kissed you, right?”  Bucky poked Steve in the side, smiling when Steve got a guilty look on his face.

            “She told me that it was because she risked her career so that you could have a chance to make a difference, and then instead of working you were making out with secretaries.  Howard claimed she was just jealous.  Sometimes they would argue about it for _hours._ ” Tony glanced up to see Steve and Bucky both looking surprised.

            “Steve spent months trying to make it up to her because he thought she was jealous. Instead she thought you were _lazy_.” Steve scowled and shoved Bucky when he started laughing, sending him rolling a few feet away.

            “Why did you take the paint off, anyway? Because of all the damage?”

            Tony ran a hand over the back of his head, suddenly feeling self-conscious.  “I, um.” He cleared his throat. “I thought we all could use a fresh start. So...” He shrugged and ran his finger over the largest nick he hadn’t been able to buff out.

            There was a heavy pause and then he heard Steve say “Thank you, Tony,” voice thick.  There was the sound of a chair falling over and Tony looked up just in time for Bucky to pull him into a kiss, bending him backwards with a metal arm behind his back.

            “Thank you, Tony,” Bucky echoed softly, and for once the smile in his eyes had no shadows.

 ***

            Later on that week Tony was minding his own business in his bedroom with his tablet and _Last Action Hero_ on the TV when there was a knock at the door.  Bucky stood there in long pants and his hoodie, looking miserable. “Uh oh,” Tony said as he stepped back to let Bucky inside, who promptly went to the bed and fell into it face first.

            “Had a fight with Steve,” Bucky said into the covers, voice muffled. He grabbed a pillow and rolled onto his side to hug it.  “If I looked at his stupid face for another minute I was gonna punch it.”

            “What-“ Tony didn’t even get a chance to close his door before Steve was skidding to a stop in front of it, looking panicked.  Tony’s eyes helplessly traveled down Steve’s bare chest, then to his abs, all the way down to where his drawstring sweats were hanging low off his hips before reversing direction so he could look Steve in the eye.

            “Tony! Do you know where – oh.” Steve saw Bucky curled up on Tony’s bed and stopped.  “Never mind. I thought-“ he shook his head.  “I just wanted to make sure he was ok.”

            Steve started to turn away to go back to bed but Tony stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.  “C’mon, you can get in on this.  Gotta bring your own pillows though.” Steve flushed and nodded, so Tony left the door open for him as he went back to the bed.

            “What, are we going to have a sleepover?” Bucky said sarcastically.  Tony shoved at his back until he moved over enough that there would be room for Steve when he got back with pillows.

            “Yeah.  We’ll gossip and tell each other secrets and paint our toenails.  No pillow fights though, I don’t think the pillows would survive.” He climbed into the center of the bed and Bucky scooted over until his back was a solid line of heat against Tony’s side.  “So what happened?”

            “Steve wants to be a fucking hero again,” Bucky muttered.

            “Ah.” Tony turned his movie back on just as he saw Steve standing in the open doorway, looking hesitant.  He patted the bed beside him. “Come on, I don’t bite.”

            “Yes you do.” 

            Tony rolled his eyes at Bucky as Steve’s ears grew pink, but Steve closed the door behind him and got into the bed.  He had put on a shirt while he was in his room, which was a shame, Tony thought.  Now he was starting to feel underdressed in his tank top and boxers. “Bucky says you are tired of being on the bench.”

            “I could – I _should-_ be doing more.” Part of the conditions for Steve and Bucky to return to the US was that Steve give up the title of Captain America; since then, Steve had been going to Avengers HQ to train the new generation of SHIELD operatives – hopefully sans Hydra loyalists this time – in weapons and combat.  Who was going to take up the mantle of Cap was still up in the air.

            "This is why I stopped giving you massages.  You can't just sit and enjoy things. Massages. Coffee. Movies. _Life,"_ Bucky said with a disdainful snort and curled tighter around his pillow. Steve’s arms were crossed over his chest and he was looking at the TV but clearly not watching it. 

            “I had actually been thinking about that,” Tony said mildly. “For both of you.”

            “ _Both-_ “ Steve started and Tony flicked him on the ear.

            “Hush. The grown-up is talking.”

            Bucky rolled over to stare at him incredulously. “Grown-up? We are twice your age!”

            “One, being frozen doesn’t count.  Two, if you want any more invites to this bed, no reminders that you were born around the same time as my father. Three, shut up and listen.” Tony reached over Bucky for his tablet and pulled up a website he’d bookmarked a while ago, tilting the screen so that it popped up above the tablet as a hologram.

            “United Nations Disaster Relief,” Steve read, and then sat back against the headboard. “Huh.”

            Bucky was silent for a long time, but when he rolled over and said, “What movie are you watching?” Tony knew that he’d won.  

 

            Tony woke up a few hours later hot and sweaty from the two supersoldier heaters on either side of him, particularly the one wrapped around him pressing an impressive morning wood into his hip.  With decades of practice he was able to slip out of bed without waking Steve up, though he thought he saw Bucky open an eye as he closed the door to the bathroom.  He used the bathroom, took a quick shower, brushed his teeth and was about to go back into the bedroom when he heard it.

            A deep-throated groan, easy to hear now that there wasn’t any water running.  And not one of Bucky’s, either. A wave of heat crawled under Tony’s skin and his heart started pounding.  Through the door he could hear Bucky murmuring something, running that blessedly filthy mouth of his, but without supersoldier hearing he couldn’t hear what he was saying.  Whatever it was pulled another low moan out of Steve, the sound going straight to Tony’s dick.  Now Steve was saying something that had Bucky chuckling and then gasping, and Tony _ached_ to know what Steve was doing to make him make that sound but his hand seemed frozen to the door knob.

            _James Buchanan Barnes, you fucking menace,_ Tony swore as the noises started getting rhythmic. _You did this on purpose._ For a while now they’d been keeping a careful balance among the three of them, Bucky moving easily between Steve and Tony while they slowly started to orbit each other, their old tension easing as a new one built in its place.  Apparently Bucky had gotten tired of waiting for one of them to make a move and had decided to do it for them.

            Tony’s head thunked against the wall as another moan came through the door, along with a bit off “ _Jesus, Bucky.”_ He could just imagine the look in Bucky’s eyes right now, heated and daring Tony to take a chance. They had to know he was here and could hear them.  Maybe that’s what Bucky was saying to Steve that was causing all those desperate sounds, that Tony was on the other side of the door listening. Or maybe he teased Steve about Tony joining them the same way he teased Tony, and Steve was there imagining Tony burying his hands in his hair and holding him still for  a deep, plundering kiss while Bucky swallowed his cock and-

            “To hell with it,” Tony muttered as he opened the door.  "I wanna know if Steve sucks dick as well as Bucky says he does."

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr, I'm on it](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/dracusfyre)


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